Encouraging Children to Go With the Flow

As parents, we try to make our children’s lives safe and predictable. However, schedules change, plans get cancelled, major life events take hold, and we may even “bend” the rules a time or two. Change is inevitable! (And sometimes, so are tantrums.) 

Flexible thinking plays a large role in your child’s academic and social success. It’s the ability to make changes and adaptations as you go. While some children are more rigid thinkers than others, you CAN foster a “go with the flow” attitude at home. But your ability to guide your child depends on your own capacity to be adaptable. 

One such way to increase flexible thinking is through picture books. When read together you and your child can RELATE and REFLECT on the character’s journey. Explore how the characters practice problem solving in different ways, see things from a different perspective, or try something they were afraid of. 

Here are some discussion questions you may use to help you initiate those conversations with your child during reading time.

RELATE: 

• I wonder what the character is feeling? How can you tell? 

• Have you ever felt this way? 

• Do you know anyone that acts like this?

• How are you like the main character? 

• How are you different from the main character?

REFLECT: 

• Identify different viewpoints. 

• Discuss the challenges the characters face. 

• Look for alternate solutions to the problems. 

• What would you say to the character to make them feel better? 

• What would NOT be a helpful thing to say? 

Now ask your child to tell their own version of the story. Can they come up with a new perspective? An alternative solution? Encourage that flexible thinking! 

Here are a few of my favorite picture books in which the characters must try out new ways of thinking and doing.  

• After the Fall by Dan Santat

• Mr. Tiger Goes Wild by Peter Brown

• Mary Wears What She Wants by Keith Negley

• Another by Christian Robinson

• The Dot by Peter Reynolds

• Perfect Square by Michael Hall

• The Odd Egg by Emily Gravett

• Imogene’s Antlers by David Small

• Maybe Something Beautiful by F. Isabel Campoy

There is a lot of truth to the well-known quote, “The only constant in life is change.” Picture books can boost your child’s emotional literacy AND improve their problem-solving skills. When fostered in the safety of your relationship, your children learn to adapt to their ever-changing environment. And what better way to help your child prepare for the uncertainty of the world around them than through a shared experience! 

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